• Last Minute Loan Options

    When the rent is due today or your auto lender is threatening to repossess your car unless payment is received within 24 hours, where can you turn to get money fast? While your situation may seem dire, there are lenders who are willing to accept an application, make a lending decision within minutes and have the money in your bank account the next day.

    Don’t Worry About a Credit Check

    If you have poor credit or no credit, it may be beneficial to apply for a payday loan. Applications only take a few minutes to fill out, and you will most likely get a loan decision and your money in the same day. Generally, payday lenders only look to see that you have some source of income and determine your loan amount based on your track record with the lender. Therefore, there is no reason to worry about not getting the cash you need because of your bad credit or lack of a credit history.

    Use Your Assets for Leverage

    Another option would be to borrow against the equity that you have in an asset such as your car. A car title loan allows you to borrow up to 60 percent or more of your car’s value. Therefore, if your car was worth $10,000, you could get a loan for up to $6,000 or more depending on the lender’s standards. While some lenders may require a physical vehicle inspection prior to disbursing loan proceeds, it may be possible to simply email photos of your car to complete the inspection process.

    Peer Lending Is a Relatively Quick Process

    If you have good or above average credit, you may not want to pay the interest rates associated with a payday or title loan. In such a scenario, it may be best to look into peer loans. A peer loan is funded by individuals as opposed to institutional lenders. This means that you may get a lower interest rate compared to traditional personal loans, and there is a better chance of getting your loan funded within a matter of days. Peer loans offer you the ability to borrow up to $40,000 at a time, but most people borrow $1,000 to $10,000 per loan.

    Apply for a Credit Card

    Assuming that you have a few days before a major bill is due, it may be possible to apply for a credit card and use those proceeds to pay it off. It is possible that you will receive an instant loan decision if you apply online. After the application has been approved, you should receive your credit card within 7-10 days. Activating the card should only take a few minutes, and you can start to use it however you want after doing so.

    If you need cash in a hurry, it is critical that you know where to turn for the funds you need to keep your car, home or spot in school. Payday loans, title loans or even a credit card can provide you with quick financing for the bills that you can’t afford to let go unpaid for long.


  • 6 Reasons Why St. Patrick’s Day is the True American Pastime

    St. Patrick’s Day is an Irish holiday celebrating a very important Catholic figure. But in America, we’ve bastardized it to an unrecognizable monstrosity. And here’s why it’s the best:

     

     

    • Ireland Celebrates St. Patty’s Day With Church. We Celebrate It With Booze.

     

     

    Real Irish citizens go to church on St. Patrick’s Day. Americans just culturally appropriated the crap out of it, and now use it as an excuse to binge drink. There’s nothing more American that taking something that’s not ours and turning it into a reason to drink to excess. U.S.A! U.S.A!

     

    1. In the U.S. on St. Patrick’s Day, Everyone is Irish. And Is Totally Obnoxious About It.

     

    It’s often said that “everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S. That’s fairly accurate. And if you have a drop of Irish heritage in your American Melting Pot veins, you drunkenly scream about it to everyone and at everything. If you’re NOT Irish, you just shrug and repeat that everyone’s Irish on this, the holiest of Americanized holidays. Alcohol and corned beef hash is the true unifier between races, gender, religions, and nationalities.

     

    1. We’ve Ruined/Improved St. Patty’s Possibly More Than We Did With Cinco de Mayo

     

    Seriously. Most Americans have no clue what Cinco de Mayo is really even about. “…Mexican 4th of July,” we all cautiously guess. Doesn’t matter. We’ll take both holidays and make them about us, minus the cultural significance and dignity, plus a bunch of themed drinking. Add some sombreros, leprechaun hats, festive colors, and you’ve got yourself a tacky American holiday. TAKE THAT, FOREIGNERS; we party harder on your holidays than you do!

     

    1. You Can Dress Like a Moron And Everyone Loves It

     

    The more annoying, suggestive, or offensive your outfit is, the better. Rent a cheesy leprechaun costume? You’ll get a free drink at the bar. Wear something emblazoned with “Kiss Me I’m Irish”? You’ll have mono by the end of the day. There’s truly nothing like it outside of the U.S.

     

    1. It’s Acceptable (If Not Encouraged) To Start Drinking at 7 a.m.

     

    In fact, you’re looked down upon as a quitter if you aren’t chasing down your eggs and bacon with some Bailey’s-spiked coffee or green mimosas. A true American will have moved on to Irish car bombs around 1 p.m. and will cap off the day with several too many green beers. Then we’ll patriotically pass out in the street somewhere, while our green-clad comrades dance around our unconscious bodies to a Dropkick Murphys song.

     

    1. Our St. Patty’s Day Parades Mean Business

     

    There are far more parades on St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S. than there are in Ireland. And we go hard. We’ve been known to dye entire rivers green each year, for godsakes. Again, St. Patrick’s Day in Ireland is a more dignified affair. Here, it’s 100% cheese and sleaze; just the way we Americans like it. We’ve taken an Irish holiday and warped it into a beautiful and horrifying American version of itself. We wouldn’t have it any other way.


  • Top Ten Humorous Office Pranks

    While it is not April fool’s day yet, you don’t have to wait to pull pranks on people in your office. Some of your coworkers may not like it, but others will appreciate the joke, especially if the joke is not on them. Below are some ideas of pranks that you can try in the office. Some may get you in trouble with the boss, but only for a quick second. The boss, too, may laugh at the idea. So, let’s go.

    1. Discounted Vehicle for Sale

    Prior to going to the office, look in the newspaper for free ads. Put an ad in the newspaper selling the boss’s vehicle at a discount price. Make sure that you don’t leave out the phone number and email address of the boss. Mention the hours to call, but make sure that the hours are during office hours. You want all the employees to be laughing too.

    1. Salt in the Sugar

    Get to work earlier than everyone else. Go in the break room and put some salt in the sugar jar and sugar in the salt jar. Watch the faces of your coworkers as they make the coffee and taste it, realizing that their coffee taste very salty. Someone may be mad, but for the most part, it is just a joke to be enjoyed by the rest.

    1. Coffee Switch

    Most employees love to have their coffee in the mornings. Many of them prefer regular coffee instead of decaf. So, volunteer to make coffee and switch the decaf to the regular coffee during the morning hours. Coworkers will wonder why they are not getting that coffee high. Ignite the senses with Espresso during the second half of the day. People will be bouncing off the wall instead of winding down after a long day at work.

    1. The Resignation Letter

    Find two of your best working coworkers that shine more than all other employees. Write copies of their resignation and put on the boss’ desk. Make sure you state the reason for the resignation such as winning the lottery. You could also circulate the letters to other coworkers. Watch them laugh.

    1. Getting Dirtier

    Put some food coloring in the liquid soap jar in the bathroom. Watch people go into the bathroom, wash their hands and find it getting dirtier. Don’t use too much food coloring or your joke may turn into something else.

    1. Prank Call

    Put sticker or tape over the buttons of the phone. Put the phone back and wait as someone calls into the office. Each time someone calls, the phone will continuously ring. The person being pranked will hang up the phone, picking it back up again to see if that would solve the dilemma while you are watching from a distance.

    1. Spreading Gossip

    Office gossip is a given and there are some people in the office that are good at it. Use them to spread gossip about the coworker who is being pranked, but make sure that the information is not true and lighthearted enough to make everyone laugh about it.

    1. The Cleaning Staff

    Collaborate with the cleaning people to pull off this prank. Put up an ‘out of order’ sign on the elevator and at the door of the restroom. Watch the look of frustration on the faces of your coworkers. This prank will work all the time.

    1. Muffled Sounds

    Stick clear tape on the ear piece of the telephone. When someone calls in, the person who is being pranked will answer the phone, not being able to hear anything because the call will be muffled. However, try this one on a coworker who loves to make personal calls.  

    1. The Animal Clients

    On the top of the list is the prank with animal clients or at least, this is what the pranked person will think. Use this on a receptionist that spends most time on the Internet and doesn’t do her work. Give her some animal names and zoo numbers to call. Create names such as Mr. Tigger or Mrs Lyon. Stand and watch as she becomes literally red in the face.

     


  • Jacksonville’s Mayor John Dopson arrested

    The News

     

    If you live in Georgia, you’ve probably heard that the Jacksonville’s Mayor John Dopson was arrested on January 1, 2016. As if the city wasn’t having enough problems with its police chief getting in hot water, now that the mayor has been arrested, things are in even worse shape.

     

    The 411

     

    Dopson was arrested for using a police car without authorization. But wait, it gets worse. Sheriff Chris Steverson released a statement that Mayor John Dopson refused to take a drug test when he was pulled over in the Dodge Charger patrol car on US 411. Not only that, but Dopson told the arresting office that the reason he wouldn’t submit to a blood or urine drug test is that he knew it would test positive for “weed.” states that Jacksonville’s “appointed” mayor John Dopson refused drug tests at the sheriff’s office Monday night after he was pulled over in a 2008 blue Dodge Charger patrol car on U.S. 441 near Ga. 117. Dopson was charged with both impersonating an officer and a DUI. Steverson also reported that Jacksonville locals had been calling in complaints about Dopson driving erratically and suing the flashing blue lights on the police vehicle. After Dopson’s arrest, one woman came forward and said that he tried to pull her over by using the lights.

     

    Danger

     

    Although the police force was oddly flattered by his desire to impersonate an office, Dopson was arrested because there was a real threat to public safety as well as to the mayor himself. To read the full scoop, go to Macon.

     

    Repeat Offender

     

    Although this is the first time Dopson was arrested for impersonating a police officer, it is not the first time he has done it. Sheriff’s deputies had taken reports about him doing it many times in the past, and this time he got caught.

     

    Dopson has been mayor of Jacksonville late last year, and according to state records has been waiting to go on trial for a felony aggravated assault charge, which involved pointing a gun at another man, according to The Associated. The incident was captured on video, also according to The Associated Press.

     

    Dopson on Facebook

     

    Dopson has posts on his Facebook page that are at best questionable. One notable post from January 27, 2016, reads, “just want to say this morning that I’m sorry for saying on my Facebook page that I thanked the Lord that I ain’t inbred. I had no idea so many in Telfair bristled at that word. It got so many upset that I called Sunday to meet some folks in the cemetery. Now it always gives me cause for pause when somebody wants to meet me in the cemetery, but I went. The people said that I didn’t realize how many people in Telfair were well, you know. So I got to looking around and I said to myself Damn. Anyhow you [sic]  probably asking, John how do you tell of [sic] somebody is we’ll, you know. Well the first thing you look at is their fingers. If they short and fat and stubby that’s a good sign. Secondly you look at their eyes. If they beady eyed and set reall [sic] close together that’s another good sign. And if their forehead slopes back like a Neanderthal that’s damn sure a good sign. And last but not least if their head is so big it want [sic] fit in a hat well they probably you know. So I promise I want [sic] say that no more. That way I want get summoned to no more cemetery meetings.” To read more of his posts, visit  Everipedia.


  • 10 Shipwrecks You Should Totally See

    You know what’s awesome? Shipwrecks. Big ships, little boats, Roman wrecks, WWII wrecks, pirate ships, merchant ships – they’re all insanely cool. While many have been lost to the depths of the sea, there are some that you can see with nothing more than a snorkel and fins or a pair of flip-flops. Check out these ten that are totally worth the trip.

     

    Wreck of the Cali

     

    This freighter from 1900 is a definitely worth the excursion down to Grand Cayman. First of all, the Caribbean is a warm, beautiful paradise year round, so you’re already winning just by going there. Second, the wreck is only around 20-30 feet down and a minute’s swim from the shoreline. Given the almost crystal visibility in Cayman Islands, that makes it a great location for snorkeling.

     

    SS America

     

    Built as a 1940’s ocean liner, the SS America had a half-century long career before she was sold with the hopes of making her a hotel ship off the coast of Thailand, but in the process of being towed to her new home, she got caught in a storm and ran aground in Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands. Now, her fractured remains can be seen during low tide.

     

    Eduard Bohlen

     

    Long shot with this one, but if you’re ever in Namibia, the Eduard Bohlen is a must-see. The former cargo ship/passenger liner combo is stranded in the Namibian desert, nearly half a kilometer from the coast. A ship buried in the sands and glowing under the desert sun is a real sight to see.

     

    Navagio Beach Shipwreck

     

    You already know this wreck. It’s the one you see in all the photos, the one of a rusted hull on a pretty, semi-circular beach with crystal waters to just the other side. Well, now you know the name. It’s located on the Greek island of Zakynthos, and you should go see it.

     

    SS Nornen

     

    Run aground on the beach at Berrow, Somerset, in the UK, this Norwegian barque can still be seen at low tide, her ribs sticking up out of the water.

     

    Peter Iredale

     

    This four-masted steel barque ran aground on the coast of Oregon in the 1900s, and today some of her steel frame is still visible even as the tide rolls in.

     

    SS Point Reyes

     

    There are a bunch of shipwrecks along the Point Reyes National Seashore in California. The SS Point Reyes can still be seen on a sandbar, and near with the near 50 ships that have been lost in the area, a quick snorkel is bound to turn up even more wreck sites.

     

    SS Maheno

     

    Step one – go to Australia. Step two – see the remains of this Scottish passenger liner. Step three – enjoy being in Australia, obviously.

     

    River Princess

     

    This shallow wreck of the coast of India’s Candolim Beach in Goa is a distinctly modern ship stuck in the shallows. Just be careful wading out to it – the water conditions make even the short walk dangerous.

     

    The Montana and Constellation

     

    This one is a two-for-one. These two shipwrecks are located at nearly the same spot in Bermuda, and a bunch of boats do snorkeling excursions out there. Two shipwrecks plus an island vacation – that’s a major win.


  • 10 Amazing Things You Never Knew About Canada

    Most people who don’t actually live in Canada know two things to be true about The Great White North: it’s always cold, and the people are always polite. As it turns out, there’s a lot more to Canada than Arctic winds and kind dispositions, though. To prove it, here are ten amazing things you never about Canada.

     

    • Canada is the second most educated country in the world. More than half of Canadian adults have received some form of tertiary education (like college), and there is a 99% literacy rate. That means that the majority of Canadians are well-learned, and they have the degrees to prove it. By contrast, the US has a tertiary education rate of 43.1%.
    • Polar bears are such a problem in the far north Manitoba town of Churchill that residents leave their cars and sometimes even their homes in case their neighbors need a quick escape from a hungry bear.
    • Nessy isn’t the only lake monster out there. Okanagan Lake in British Columbia is said to be home of Ogopogo (also called Naitaka). This cryptid has been reported by First Nations people since the early nineteenth century, and is commonly described as a twelve to fifteen meter long, serpent-like creature. The mythical creature is locally celebrated in varying capacities, and one cryptozoologist even thinks it could be a Basilosaurus.
    • While it’s pretty well known that Columbus’ voyages didn’t go exactly the way elementary history books would have us believe, there were some early European settlers in Canada. By around 1000 AD, Vikings from Scandinavia had settled in the maritime provinces. Archaeological evidence has been found on Baffin Island, Newfoundland, and others. According to the Sagas of Icelanders, Leif Erikson even founded a Norse settlement along the Canadian coast.
    • Despite all the snow, Canada actually has a stretch of desert. the Osoyoos Desert isn’t an Arctic desert, it’s a god’s honest stretch of sand, stone, dry air, cacti, and tarantulas. The arid stretch in southeastern British Columbia is the northernmost point in a series of deserts that stretch from the Sonoran Desert in Mexico all the way up in between the Sierra Nevada and the Rockies to this southern point in Canada.
    • In 1943, Ottawa declared one room in a hospital international territory so that Princess Margriet Francisca of the Netherlands could be born a full Dutch citizen, which was a requirement in her native country to keep her Princess title. Every year since then, the Dutch have sent thousands of tulips to Canada as a gift of gratitude.
    • Canadians outdo Americans when it comes to macaroni – in a big way. Kraft Dinner, the pantry staple item consisting of elbow noodles and artificially orange cheese powder, is the most popular grocery item in Canada. Canadians consume 55% more of it than Americans, and it holds a special place in many Canadian hearts and pantries.
    • One in five Canadians are foreign-born. That means around 6.8 million people there were born somewhere else, the highest rate of foreign-born residents of any G8 nation.
    • Quebec holds a monopoly on maple syrup. The francophonic province supplies nearly 80% of the world’s maple syrup, and even has criminal syndicates connected to the maple syrup trade.
    • The longest border between two nations is the border between Canada and the US.

  • Top 6 Most WTF Museums In the World

     

    Everyone has personal hobbies and a few odd interests, sure. But these unusual museums prove that some people just have way too much time on their hands, and get into some weird stuff.

     

    Admit it; you want to visit these six strange museums at least out of morbid curiosity. There’s nothing quite like witnessing a testament to someone else’s weird obsessions to make you feel way better about your own.

     

    Hair Museum, Turkey

    For most people, the idea of this place gives them the heebie jeebies. But for the curators, it’s their life’s work. After all, it’s the only part of the body that doesn’t decay after death, so it’s the closest you’re gonna get to immortality.

     

    People have left thousands of locks of hair along with notes, photos, and more. Visitors are even encouraged to make a donation of some of their own hair. Ew.

     

    Cancun Underwater Museum, Mexico

     

    Strap on your scuba gear, because it’s the only way to even see this museum unless you book a glass bottomed boat. That’s some exclusive art.

     

    Just off the coast of Cancun is a collection of 500 underwater sculptures in three different “galleries.” There’s something slightly eerie about the underwater art…

     

    Museum of Bad Art, USA

     

    Yeah. It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like. The Museum of Bad Art in Massachusetts is a shrine to some of the most appalling pieces of “art” ever created by human hands. It’ll make your standard thrift store still-lifes look like Manet masterpieces.

     

    This bizarre museum calls itself the “world’s only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and celebration of bad art in all its forms.”

     

    Sulabh International Museum of Toilets, India

     

    Not just disgusting, the International Museum of Toilets is also educational! Spanning 4,5000 years of disposing of your dookie, the museum is home to the basic bucket-style chamber pots both ornate and plain, and some of the fanciest porcelain thrones known to man.

     

    There’s even a toilet that’s cleverly disguised as a bookcase for the pooper who’s a fan of Scooby-Doo-style waste management.

     

    Museum of Broken Relationships, Croatia

     

    It’s somewhere between a weird art piece and a graveyard of romance. The Museum of Broken Relationships in Zagreb even encourages its visitors to leave behind mementos from their old flings, asserting that it can be therapeutic to relate to other people’s’ heartache, and then leave behind your own bad memories.

     

    There are some seriously strange tokens of love in this place, too. When you broke up with you ex you just had to put all those stuffed animals, photos, and letters in a box. But this museum showcases some of the wackiest stuff that people ever got emotionally attached to. To each their own, right?

     

    Torture Museum, Netherlands

     

    In quiet Amsterdam, the screams of long-forgotten victims echo through the halls of the Torture Museum. They have a collection of more than 100 different torture method devices, mostly from the Medieval era, as you might expect.

     

    They were really into that kind of thing back then. You probably shouldn’t question it too much. Although it’s fair to question the type of person that makes a trip to Amsterdam to go see the Torture Museum.


  • Top 7 Reasons Why You Should Fear The Ocean

    The Earth’s oceans cover 71% of the planet, and make up for 99% of the living space on our absurd little spinning hunk of space rock. Now just sit there and think about all the horrifying alien-like creatures that are chilling right below your cruise ship on its way to Jamaica.

     

    You have every reason to be terrified of the ocean. If you aren’t already reasonably petrified by the thought of that great salty unknown, here are a few reasons why you should stay on dry land forever and ever…

     

     

    • Nobody Even Knows Just How Deep it Actually Is

     

    They think maaaybe most of the ocean is about 40,000 feet deep, but they have zero way of knowing because we weak and mewling mortals can’t handle that kind of crazy.

     

    1. Even the Plant Life is Scary AF

    Never mind that that seaweed LOOKS like a freaking Kraken from the deep, you could easily get tangled up in that seaweed and drown. It happens, man. And it’s 60 shades of what-the-hell.

     

    1. Sharks. Sharks Exist.

    Not only do blood-sensing killing machines with up to 50 ROWS OF RAZOR SHARP TEETH swim around down there, they also come in far more terrifying types than you ever imagined. THAT is the goblin shark. It makes the classic great white or even those freaky-looking hammerheads seem like cute little goldfish.

     

    1. OH MY GOD WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING

    Oh-My-God-What-Even-Is-That-Thing Exhibit A: The Frill Shark. (Oh yes. It’s real.)

     

    Exhibit B: The Barreleye. (Those yellow orbs in it’s clear face are it’s eyes. Uh huh. No, thank you.)

     

    Exhibit C: The Deepsea Hatchet Fish. (SOMEBODY TAKE A HATCHET TO ITS FACE, PRONTO.)

     

    Exhibit D: The Fangtooth Fish

     

    Exhibit E: The Angler Fish

     

    Just stay out of the water.

     

    1. Most of the Ocean is Pitch Black

     

    The intense darkness and fear of the unseen is enough to make anyone sweat. But that also means that no sunlight reaches the bottom of the ocean. Which means that no plants can grow down there. Which means that MOST THINGS DOWN THERE PREY ON FLESH.

     

    They just hang out down there, eating whatever dead (or alive) thing that floats down to them. See those starfish? They’re munching on a whale carcass. And to think you used to pet them at the local aquarium. (Besides: their mouth is also their anus.)

     

    1. The Planet Spits Out Face-Melting Acid

     

    There are just zillions of random vents and chasms that open up to the Earth’s boiling ooey gooey centers. Vents like these spew out boiling sulfuric acid. Even creepier still; there are freaky little organisms that have made happy little homes in and around these poisonous vents. Because they’re the spawn of Satan, clearly.

     

    1. We’ve Barely Explored It

    We’ve explored an estimated 4% of our own universe. We’ve explored less than 5% of our oceans, despite the fact that they make up the majority of our own planet. So basically, we’ve explored the universe almost as much as the giant bodies of water in our own backyards.

     

    That just goes to prove how scary the ocean actually is. It’s no wonder as to why nobody wants to go down there. Can you blame them?

     


  • Top 10 Real Funny Teacher Stories

    You probably have been to school and seen some hilarious things that teachers have to endure You may have noticed children playing tricks on other kids, but overall, most of us have good memories of kindergarten, elementary school, high school and college; at least, for the most part. Below are some funny, but real stories that teachers experienced with their students.

    The Oxy-Moron

    After finishing his lecture in English and once the students filed out, the teacher was confronted by one of the tenth grade student who had lagged behind. He told the teacher that he did not appreciate that the teacher singled him out in class. The teacher looked confused at the allegation and asked the student to explain. He told the teacher that he did understand the first part of the word that was used in class, which was oxy, but he did not understand the term moron and why the teacher had looked directly at him while saying the word, oxymoron.

    The Music Teacher

    A music teacher had her middle school class perform the classic, Mozart, but after a few failed attempts, the students were exasperated and frustrated. One student put her hand up and when the teacher called on her, she bluntly told her that the entire chorus class were fed up with Mozart and wanted to sing and play music from their generation and not the teacher’s generation.

    Not Wide Enough for Translating

    A German teacher had his student learn his name in German language. It was supposed to be Frau Draper. However, one of the students created a pin for the teacher with his name on it. However, the pin was not wide enough to fit his entire name. As he gave the badge to the German teacher, it was obvious that it read FRAUD.

    No Paper Trail

    One teacher entered his classroom for the morning. He was in the process of collecting homework when he did not receive the completed assignment from one particular student. After asking the student for his homework, the student replied that the homework was still in his pencil.

    Filthy Rich

    As a first grader draped a dollar bill across his eyes playfully, the teacher told him not to do that because money is filled with germs. The student did not believe and asked the teacher, is it? The teacher confirmed that it was very dirty. The student thought about it for a moment and then asked the teacher if that is why people called the wealthy, ‘filthy rich.’

    Call by First Name

    Natalie Osborne was a sixth grade teacher. One day while in class, she got exasperated with the students constantly calling on her “Ms. Osborne, Ms. Osborne, Ms. Osborne? So she asked the class firmly to see if they could go five minutes without saying ‘Ms. Osborne.’ Immediately, there was quite in the classroom until a soft voice said, “Natalie?”

    Turning Right

    A few students were in driver’s education class. While one student was driving and the teacher in the passenger seat, two students sat in the back waiting for their turn to drive. The student driving came to a stop sign and was told to make a right turn. She did not put on her turning signal. So the driver’s education teacher told her she had to. The student told him that there was no other driver coming. The instructor then told her it would be helpful if she did this for the sake of those behind her. The student then turned around and told the other students seated in the back, “I am going to turn right now, OK?”

     

    Smart First Grade Teacher

    Kindergarten students were having snacks. The teacher asked the students why they thought some raisins were black and others yellow. The kindergarten teacher did not really know the answer so she asked her first grade coworker who told her that black raisins came from red grapes and yellow raisins came from green grapes. One little girl then told the kindergarten teacher that this was the reason why the teacher was teaching first grade and not kindergarten because she was smarter.

     

    The Ship

    In an art class, the teacher asked students to draw on of the three ships sailed by Christopher Columbus. One of her third grade student, finishing before the others came and handed in his paper, which only had one dot on the paper. She asked him why. He said that was Columbus far out of sea.

     

    The Polka Dot Blouse

    One teacher wore a polka dot blouse to school. As she stood welcoming her first grade students in class, one of the students noticed her blouse and decided to pay her a compliment, “Oh, Ms. Brown, you look quite nice this morning, just like the clown at the fair I went to this weekend.”


  • 25 Reasons Why You Should Stay In Tonight

    It’s about 7:30 pm on a Friday night. You’ve received a hailstorm of texts from your friends trying to make plans to go out. But here’s why you should stay put:

     

    1. It’s Cold AF

     

    Have you been outside today? It’s the ultimate NOPE weather. Stay inside, crank the heat, prep the fireplace, and chuckle at all the poor saps who are slogging it out in the veritable tundra.

     

    1. It’s Been the Longest Week Ever

     

    All the stupid stuff that happened at work, all the missed hours of sleep, and all the time spent NOT staying home and being lazy can really pile up and weigh on you. You’ve had a lousy week. You’ve earned this.

     

    1. Blankets Exist

     

    And oh are they wonderful.

     

    1. Netflix

     

    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

     

    1. Delivery Is a Thing

     

    Your roommates, significant other, cohabitating person or whoever hates your favorite takeout place. Now is your chance. Order ALL THE FOOD. Let it magically appear at your door and welcome it to your staying-in party. Delivery junk food is like the guest of honor at this perfect evening for one.

     

    1. Drinking Alone Can Be Heavenly

     

    While you’re in the business of assembling a feast for yourself, open that bottle of whatever. Turn on the tv and pour one out for your social life. As long as you’re not sad-drinking or drunk-dialing exes, you’re doing it right. Drink up, you beautiful hermit.

     

    1. Your Pet’s Giant Sad Eyes

     

    Are you really going to break their heart again? It’s time for some quality time with your number one. They’re really the only company you need on such a fine evening in. Plus, they won’t judge you for all the weird stuff you do when you’re home alone. They’ve probably done worse while you were out of the house.

     

    1. You’d Probably Have to Interact With That She-Devil: You Know Who We’re Talking About

     

    Oh, wait. THEY’RE going to be there, tonight? Hell no. You feel your soul sizzle a little every time you lock eyes with that monster. She’ll probably be there, humble bragging loudly about her recent trip to Barcelona where she rescued orphaned kittens and taught them to read. Stay home. Stay safe from that one person.

     

    1. Sleep > Everything Else

     

    As a kid, you wanted to stay up all night and dreamed of the day when you could do whatever you wanted. Nobody tells you that as an adult, all you’ll want to do is go to bed at a decent time.

     

    1. Pants < Everything Else

     

    So you’re telling me that I have to wear real clothes to this thing? Dealbreaker. You’re already in your ugliest sweats. The deed is done.

     

    1. You’re Broke, You Irresponsible Scamp

     

    You could spend $30 on going out for dinner like a real person plus the $10 drink you’d have if you went out tonight. Or you could buy a $5 bottle of wine and a massive $10 pizza and have a way better time.

     

    1. Your Liver Will Thank You

     

    It weeps for what you’ve put it through lately. Show some mercy.

     

    1. What Time Is It? (Hint: YOU TIME)

     

    Dance around naked. Sing Mariah Carey in the shower. Eat ice cream for dinner. Whatever, man. You do you.

     

    1. Sorry to Break it to You Buuut… You’re Looking a Little Worse For Wear

     

    When was the last time you did laundry? Or took a good look at those outta-control eyebrows? Now you finally have some time for a bit of maintenance, relaxation, and self-care. Alternatively, you can embrace the haggard look you’re rocking and just flop on the couch with some snacks where no one has to see you.

     

    1. The Outside World is Vastly Overrated

     

    You said you have to go out every weekend? Inside is good. Inside is nice. Stay in tonight.